Once, in a small town called Hale, there was a girl named
Leesuh. Leesuh was a nice girl. She participated in 4-H, loved her plethora
of dogs, cats, pigs, llamas, emus, and whatever else she kept around her farm
of a house, enjoyed shooting BB guns, and loved listening to the smooth sounds
of Kenny Chesnik. All of Leesuh's
teachers, family, and friends noted what a well-rounded individual she was – it
seemed as if she could do anything!
One day, however, Leesuh's downfall began. She went to class happily on the first day
of her Junior year, driving along in her Palmahmobile, happily drumming her
fingers on the wheel to the sounds of Kenny Chesnik. The first day of school went well, until she came to Algebra II class.
Little did Leesuh know that what she found in Algebra II
would change her life forever. For as
she sat there, the first one to arrive, a vision walked in through the door,
and, she felt, into her heart.
'Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?'
she asked quietly.
'What?' the beautiful tenth grade boy responded.
'Oh. Nothing. I'm Leesuh.'
'Hi. I'm
Brad.' He then sat down behind her and
to the side, because it was as far away as he could get. Leesuh turned and faced forward, trying to
hide her flushing face. Every part of
her felt like it was on fire! Even her
foo foo! She must have him. And at that moment, Leesuh stopped being
Leesuh, and became :D
Brad was always nice to :D, even though she creeped him
out just a little bit. She seemed nice
enough, and everyone knew she was normal.
But suddenly, she started hanging around him more and more. She called him almost every day, just to
talk about nothing.
She stared at him in class.
She even tried to peek in his windows.
Finally, :D decided that she could not live without Brad
knowing her true feelings anymore. She
chose to write him a letter, professing her love. She drove him home from school one day, and gave him the letter,
quickly saying, 'Don't open it until you get inside! :D' Creeped out, Brad ran
inside and opened the letter.
Brad was horrified.
He had no such feelings for :D!
She was okay as a friend at first, but things were rapidly going from ok
to weird. He had to tell her the
truth. He called her on the phone.
':D...I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry.' Then he hung
up and ran and hid under his bed.
:D was mortified.
'If I cannot have Brad, then I am leaving!' Sobbing, :D ran into the night.
:D wasn't seen for years...but then...she turned up on a
ranch, following her second-favorite pastime: cowboys.
Save a horse, ride a cowboy. The end.